Inspired by similar exercises from Small Pond Science and The Lab and Field, I present once more a few of the more interesting search terms by which Scientist Sees Squirrel has been found. I swear, I don’t make these up – I’m pretty sure I couldn’t.
rejected assistant professor
Well, we’ve all been, many times, although it sounds a bit depressing when put so baldly. This finds my post Universities That Did Not Hire Me. Perhaps I can consider it a career success to have failed often enough to be the #5 Google search result for “rejected assistant professor”. Yes, let’s think about it that way.
i hate my department chair
Well, not everyone likes their department chair. But if you’re not sure yours is any great shakes: have you considered stepping up yourself? Because I can assure you, folks aren’t stampeding for the job. And it’s intriguing how often people pretend that their disinterest in doing academic service is an admirable trait rather than a character flaw…
how to politely word your teacher is shit
Kind of a theme developing here, isn’t there? I’m unable to reconstruct where on Scientist Sees Squirrel this search ends up. Which is a bit worrisome, because I was hoping it would be merely a weird coincidence. If it ends up here, I quit.
when your manuscript is really good
That’s better. What’s interesting here, though, is not so much the search term – it’s the fact that somebody felt compelled to Google what would happen if they wrote something really good. You know, as a hypothetical proposition that one wouldn’t know about from direct experience. Look: writing well is hard, but it isn’t impossible. You can write a really good manuscript! And when you do, you won’t need Google to tell you about it. (Finds this post on when to stop revising.)
If you needed any further evidence that I like to draw weird connections (and you probably didn’t), this leads rather quickly to a post on the problem of scientific authority.
is a university an organization
Gosh, I sure hope so. Although I have days when, fresh off completion of a 13-page travel claim form for a trip I couldn’t even take, when I wish it was a little bit less of one. This search leads to a post about what kind of organization a university might be, which I hope at least some folks would agree is a better question.
has anything bad ever happened on a thirteenth floor
I think it’s pretty safe to go with “yes” here – given the state of the world, it would seem quite miraculous otherwise. But I’d actually forgotten writing this post, so I’m glad someone thought to ask.
chasm of despair new job
Ouch. Usually we like to stay in a job for a few years before deciding that it’s horrible. All I can tell you is don’t stop writing there.
perfect syllabus for scientific course
I think I can retire now, because Scientist Sees Squirrel is the top Google search result for “perfect syllabus for scientific course”. OK, OK, it gets there partly because, in offering to share the syllabus for my scientific writing course, I mentioned that it isn’t perfect. I’m going to ignore that part, and rest on my ill-begotten laurels.
© Stephen Heard October 27, 2020
Image: © JKorpimies via Wikimedia.org CC BY-SA 4.0